There is one gaming incident from a few months ago that is burned into my memory and my trousers. In actual fact there was really nothing unusual about being thoroughly trounced by Alan's Daemons. Ever since he summoned up his horde, he has been whipping out his minions of Khorne and slapping them on the tabletop to take on all comers.

I was victim number four. Alan and his fiends had already victimised Stuart's Vampires, eliminated Scott's Elves, duffed up Craig's Dwarves and had just finished being generally unpleasant to my Savage Orcs. It was when Rocnob¹, my last surviving character, got bashed flat by Alan's Big Red Bloodthirster that I realised my mission.

As I surveyed the shattered remains of my Greenskins, I realised just how awesome the Bloodthirster is. Not just the hugeness of the model and the incredible profile, but the arrogant way it had scythed through my ladz.

TERRAIN CARDS

Since my last article about terrain cards I have made a refinement to the rules. This is to prevent unscrupulous players (Little Dave!) from stuffing all the cards in one corner, when a plain battlefield would be an advantage to them.

If any of the terrain pieces overlap then the enemy player can reposition the card anywhere on their opponent's side of the table and emerged unscathed. It was like the Terminator let loose in Trumpton.

Alan was just finishing clearing away his army, when I decided to declare my firm intention to slay the monster. It was exactly at this time that Craig decided to flash². I was going to explain just how much effort I was going to put into returning the Bloodthirster to whatever dingy plane of existence it had strolled here from, but what I actually said was, "Blagghhowwwwwwnnnnuuuggghh."

Which is what you say if, suddenly blinded, you step backwards and your trousers come into contact with a gas heater on full. After a suitable amount of ointment and levity had been applied, I was left alone in the garage with thoughts of retribution and revenge and the smell of singed trouser leg gently drifting up my nostrils.

This article is the tale of how I went about killing the massive beastie and the lessons I learnt along the way.

1. TWANGS & BANGS

So just how do you kill a huge, airborne, tough, terrifying, magic resistant, devastatingly destructive Greater Daemon. Easy - shoot it.

At least that was the plan I formulated during an insufficiently long bath. It seemed perfectly reasonable at the time to develop a strategy that included keeping the massive monstrosity more than a huge murderous axe length away from my troops.

A longer soak would have given me enough time to realise that even though it is a huge target, with 8 Attacks, Toughness of 6 and a saving throw of 4+, I was going to have to chuck its body weight in miniature bolts and bullets at it to kill it. I also might have considered the fact that its flying ability gave it the means to approach my forces whilst hugging the terrain like a Harrier Jump Jet. This was to drastically reduce my shooting opportunities.

My Witch Hunter (Empire) force of just over a hundred crossbow and handgun armed troops was lined up, weapons cocked for the start of the battle. Alan skipped the Bloodthirster from cover to cover until he was able to slam it down right in the midst of my army. It was in the perfect position to generate a huge number of Terror tests. My Witch Hunters took one look at the sixty foot high nasty, decided that it looked nothing like any small, delicate, broom wielding, inflammable, black cat owning female that they were trained to deal with and ran for it wholesale.

My first attempt to assassinate the Bloodthirster had left it entirely unperforated, whilst my troops had entirely vacated the table (except for eight Crossbowmen cowering in a wood).

The Bloodthirster's flying ability made it an elusive target and an inability to move and fire my troops had not helped.

So I learnt my first lesson: I had to do something about the Terror.

2. TWANGS AND BIGGER BANGS

A good long soak revealed the following counter-measures to use against terror. My army would be deployed in a clump with a mighty general radiating his high Leadership at the centre.

I would put all the characters in units. This is a bit controversial as it tends to make the units more attractive as targets, with a higher points value. But I was determined to fail as few Terror tests as possible. The characters could be sent off on their own once the Terror test was done.

I would make sure that all my units have plenty of room to run away. Alan always calculates carefully where to plonk his terrifying monster onto the table. It is usually positioned so that the maximum number of my units will drop off the table edge into oblivion. I will give all my units musicians. The instrumentalist's parp, strum, ting or bonk that boosts the unit's Leadership when rallying makes these guys well worth the points.

I dismissed the Witch Hunters and summoned my artillery train (I wanted to lob some serious projectiles at the fiend). Half a hundred Crossbowmen marched off and two Great Cannons, a Mortar and a Helblaster were wheeled forwards. The guns were painstakingly placed so that if one were attacked another piece could fire at the enemy.

This time it was the speed of attack from Alan's sixteen Flesh Hounds (two units of eight) that did for my army. These daemonic canines are a cross between a greyhound, a Porsche and a grumpy komodo dragon. In two moves they were ripping through my gunners. With the guns silenced, the Bloodthirster swooped in and began crunching up the rest of my army.

Another complete rout. Another unblemished Bloodthirster. This time, at least, the artillery had caused it to hesitate. As I scooped up my few remaining figures I thought I heard one of the Handgunners (a veteran of both non-victories) mutter. "Next time let's run straight off the table and save everyone's time."

Lesson: I needed more fighting power to slow down Alan's army. It was time for a major re-think. Time for a really hot bath.

3. FLAME & FIZZLE

I have said in my articles before that I just don't seem to be able to come to grips with magic. It seems that in order to wield it successfully against a Bloodthirster you need to:

• Spend a vast amount of points on it.
• Be the sort of person who doesn't mind all their
  unhatched infant hens being in a lone woven wood receptacle,
• Be terminally lucky.

It's not for me. To stand much of a chance you need to be rolling four or five casting dice. When casting spells at those levels just too many Miscasts (and a few Irresistible Forces) occur. Besides, there are not that many spells that would worry the favourite of Khorne. The Comet of Casandora is one. It does 2D6 Strength 5 hits and may actually cause a couple of wounds against the beast.

Incidentally, a recurring debate has been raging about this spell and whether a Bloodthirster can dispel it (it gets four Dispel dice against any enemy spell that effects it). Current thinking favours the idea that, since the spell targets the tabletop, the Greater Daemon cannot use the four dice to dispel it. We thought that this also applied to the Bloodletters and the Flesh Hounds and after a quick check with Warhammer Loremaster, Gav Thorpe, it was indeed confirmed to be true.

What was absolutely clear was that Ron's lone Level 2 Bretonnian Sorceress stood not a Squig squashed by a Screaming Bell's chance of damaging the Bloodthirster. I told him so. At length. With diagrams.

I retained my smug smile (just about) as the first three spell castings went off. Two Irresistible Forces and an incredibly pants Dispel roll and the Bloodthirster was unexpectedly subject to a couple of Fire Ball's and a Conflagration of Doom. My smug smile beamed afresh as the Daemon suffered only a solitary wound from all the flame and fire. I guess in the end this proved my point.

Lesson: Magic ain't the answer.

4 BOLTS & BEARDS

So just to summarise the lessons so far:

I needed a tough fighting army, with high Leadership and no magic. Time to get out the Dwarfs then.
The Dwarf force I chose consisted of four Bolt Throwers, fifty Thunderers, some Ironbreakers and Rangers. I have discovered that if you use blocks of sixteen Handgunners with shields, Standards and Musicians this allows them to have a reasonable stab at winning a round of combat.

It's a simple matter of mathematics. Three ranks, Standard and Outnumbering - Dwarf combat resolution 5. Average casualties, just a bit less than five - Bloodthirster combat resolution 5. A draw - but up steps the euphonium-equipped Dwarf, and one mighty puff later, it's a win to the Dwarfs.

Okay, the Daemon will probably stand and will also have cut down one of the unit's ranks, but there is always the chance of slamming another unit of Stunties into the flank or rear and really putting the pressure on.

This only works if the Bloodthirster obligingly charges into the unit front. Playing against an experienced Daemon player this just ain't going to happen. But by keeping your Handgunners facing it, not only will it be dissuaded from attacking, but you get to loose four shots at it, as Dwarf Handgunners are allowed to move and fire. Simple tactics and surprisingly effective.

On the second turn after the battle got under way a six foot bolt smashed into the beast and it finally suffered two wounds. The game was largely a stand-off (the Bloodthirster hiding downtable nursing its injury for all but the last turn), with the majority of points going to me (twenty of the thirty six Bloodletters blown away).

I had finally won but the celebration was bitter; the blasted Bloodthirster still survived. I needed an army to attack with.

Lesson: I needed troops that moved faster.

5 TERRADONS & TOXINS

Lizardmen get that marvellous three dice test to avoid terror, they are tough fighters (apart from the Skinks), okay I have to use a Toad³, but the Kroxigors and Skinks move quickly. I borrowed Alan's reptiles for the encounter.

The first thirty minutes of that evening were lost to a disagreement about whether Daemons are affected by poison. We have for a long time adopted the policy of allowing the majority of those present on the night to decide these things.

For quite a long time players thought that being nice or feigning interest in another's spouse, offspring, work or decorating could influence things. I cringe even now when I recall the embarrassing moment when one hardened Warhammer veteran attempted to compliment another player's new haircut. It has subsequently been realised that strength of evidence, clear logical argument and high quality confectionery bribes are far more important.

I won this debate⁴ by pointing out that Undead were no longer immune to venom (in their case, swords with garlic cloves on the end or washed in Dettol, I presume).

Throughout the battle my Kroxigors and Alan's Bloodletters ripped each other to pieces. On the left flank the Temple Guard withstood the attentions of the Flesh Hounds.

The Bloodthirster was discovering that there was no hiding place from the Terradons and their bow equipped riders. For four turns the dinosaur mounted Skinks shot ten poisoned arrows into the beast every round. Meanwhile, swift moving, skirmishing Skinks chucked envenomed javelins into its ankles. The sheer volume of poisoned projectiles took their toll and wound after wound off the brute.

In turn five it staggered King Kong-like to the top of a hill before the fatal poisoned arrow was shot up its nose and immediately corrupted its brain. With a pathetic hamster-like whimper it dropped its whip and tilted slowly over onto its right leg and began to spin faster ever faster, until suddenly exploding in a shower of red steaming lumps of Daemon matter, leaving only a single smoking hoof and the faint smell of sulphur to mark the place of its demise (at least that's what I saw as Alan rather sadly packed the model away). At last I was at peace - mission accomplished.

So that's my tale. That's how I finally killed the Bloodthirster. I feel more relieved than any sense of great victory and Alan is enormously pleased that at last he can play with some other army.

I've got to go now as Little Dave has just turned up for this week's game and he has a new Nurgle horde led by a Great Unclean One. How tough can that be to destroy?